Years ago, I hit a mental and emotional low.
It was a melancholy I’d only heard of in songs or read about in poetry, but during that period I got to know it excruciatingly well.
I felt like it would go on indefinitely. Even with the most supportive ears and shoulders around me, the sadness prevailed, loud and overwhelming. No matter how much I wrote, talked through my feelings, or cried, it would not leave me alone.
I would work from home because I couldn’t face anyone. In between calling in to meetings where I’d appear polished and engaged, I would retreat beneath the covers and sleep until I’d been summoned for the next one. As far as most people knew, I was fine.
And then, out of the blue, a coworker requested a meeting with me. This was someone I’d barely spoken to all year. I had never gotten close to them, had at times felt intimidated by them, and at others felt they didn’t understand or appreciate me. I stared at the invite and the innocent message that came with it: “Just wanted to check in and catch up!”
I agreed to the meeting. The next day, we sat outside and they asked me how things were going. I figured they wanted to know how work was going, so I started listing off all the progress I had made.
They listened patiently and replied, “That’s great. But I really wanted to ask how you were doing. You just seem tired and burnt out lately.”
I was confused and surprised. That they could take one look at me in passing and see the signs of my withdrawal from the world… maybe they understood me after all.
I admitted that I was going through some personal stuff, they shared their own experiences with melancholy, and somehow that transitioned to an hour-long conversation about the creative process, about pursuing artistry, about bringing ourselves into the world, and about using our voice.
Their willingness to be so open with me was like a ray of light through the fog. It was exactly what my sadness needed: To be momentarily stunned into silence so I could remember who I was, my impact on others, and why I was here. I could start to leave the fog and return to the world.
Love takes on many forms, the most comforting being the kind between friends and family. But every now and then, when comfort needs courage, the unexpected cameo can give us the strength to push forward.